Author(s): Simon Rich

Fiction - General

How can you help mankind, when they won't help themselves? Welcome to Heaven Inc. From the Sunsets Department and Geyser Regulation to the Department of Miracles, Heaven Inc has the earth covered. Unless of course someone is away from their desk. But these days, the CEO is kind of disillusioned. God knows he should be keeping an eye on the bad things happening on Earth, but he finds himself instead watching the Church channels on satellite TV. His first priority is the team of angels he's asked to get Lynyrd Skynyrd back together. Meanwhile, Eliza has been promoted from the Prayers Department to Miracles, and Craig, the only other workaholic in heaven, has to show her around. Eliza is shocked by the casual attitude of many of the angels in her new department. And she's furious when she discovers that God has never looked at, let alone answered, a single prayer. She storms into God's office, and suggests that if he doesn't care about the Earth, why bother? 'You're right,' he says, 'I'll destroy Earth in 30 days and open an Asian-American fusion restaurant instead.' So Craig and Eliza, who really care about humans, must come up with a plan to save Earth.
And maybe even get a promotion, too.